Supercluster

Apa yang sebenarnya terjadi dengan hidup ini, aku kira aku punya kuasa atas nya, ternyata tidak! Aku bagai berjalan dengan tangan kosong, tak ada yang bisa aku lakukan dengan bekal yang sudah ku siapkan berhari-hari, karena ternyata hidup selalu bisa mengecohku. Pada akhirnya, aku berakhir dengan segala harap untuk bertemu esok hari, terkecoh ataupun tidak bukanlah hal penting saat harapan untuk hidup besok pagi ada lagi.  Inikah kenikmatan itu, merasakan manis, lalu pahit, kemudian tawar, sampai akhirnya tak merasakan apa-apa lagi...

Akhirnya aku pulang beberapa minggu lagi, jadi agak kabur tujuan ku pulang yang sebenarnya. Bayangan masa lalu yang berperan penting atas rencana dadakan ini, masa lalu yang masih sulit aku tinggalkan.  Satu bulan yang lalu aku berubah menjadi seorang yang bersikap seperti anak berumur 5 tahun, teringat mama dan berturut-turut bermimpi tentang beliau. Selain itu aku teringat Baso Mas Gino, di Pasar Anyar Bogor langganan ku dari jaman aku TK, lalu jadi kepingin melintasi jalan itu lagi, berjalan pagi atau sore di depan lapangan sepak bola dekat rumah, aku kepingin beli bubur atau nasi uduk Mak Iwin untuk sarapan. For God-sake aku udah 25 tahun, sedang hamil pula, dan aku masih hidup di dalam kenangan yang sama. Aku si anak cengeng, selalu menangis minta perhatian mama saat aku sakit, aku pingin merasakan baluran Vicks di punggung ku lagi, semua yang biasa mama lakuin saat aku sakit. Semua terangkum jadi satu, alasan aku meminta sang suami bijak untuk memberi izin untuk aku b...

People say the second trimester of pregnancy is the best moment of all, I do agree... I feel great this past few days, even though my mood is still swinging. The most disturbing thing is the nauseous feeling that happened to me for more than a month, I heard some people feel it for the full 3 or 4 months of their pregnancy. I thank God I just had it like for a short period, almost kills me though. Normally, hungry is my worst enemy, made me sick and nauseous, and today... taadaaa.... I am just fine! Doctor said in one of the article I read that this is not a good time to lost weight, but I am kinda hoping that I dont gain any, and make sure my baby is just healthy. My weight today: 75Kg, my blood pressure: dunno!, My baby: gives me that butterfly tickle every now and then, I bet he is jumping around by now - such a happy and cute baby...!! Baby.. Baby.. I miss you already! 

It's been awhile, since my chinese flat mate back to Beijing for vacation and they forgot to refresh the modem before they were gone, halah... why we put the modem in their room anyway, how silly we can be. Loads and loads of update from the pregnancy. Yesterday my DH and I went for the check up and scan, and here it is the first picture of our baby. I was amazed and kept on smiling when I saw the baby moving her butt up and down, her tiny little hand was up in the air, as if she is jumping and saying hip..hipp hurraayyy...! What a wonderful moment, the doctor said that he could not tell the gender as yet, we can wait for that news as long as the baby is healthy and happy, it is all what we wanted to know. Her heart rate is 155bmp, beating so fast and constantly, yes baby I know your are healthy. The doctor now could be so sure and decided that my pregnancy is just about 14w, therefore my EDD is on 9 March 2009! Nothing much about the baby as she is happy and healthy, she ...