Supercluster

Kenyang... Bunda baru aja maem bubur ayam buatan ayah, hmm... enak banget deh, bunda suka. Cara buat siy sebenarnya mudah, yang bikin bubur ayam ayah ini lebih enak adalah adukannya, loh ko adukannya? Resep nya adalah, bahan: 2 cups beras 6 cups air (kadang si ayah tambahin beberapa cup air lagi kalo terasa kurang lembut) 1 ruas jahe 1 bungkus chicken stock powder 1 batang sereh, dimemarkan Bahan pelengkap: Ayam goreng, bawang goreng, daun seledri, kecap manis cara buat: setelah bubur hampir menjadi nasi, kecilkan api, sehingga bawah panci ga mengerak dan bubur matang dengan merata, sementara ayah terus mengaduk bubur dengan whisk (yang menjadi rahasia kelembutan bubur). Boleh ditambah air kalo bubur masih menjadi nasi, tapi ingat terus diaduk dengan api sedang! Siapkan bubur di dalam mangkuk, taburi dengan bawang goreng, batang seledri, kecap manis dan ayam suir. Sedikit magic touch here and there, and tharrraaaaaa...!! Bubur Ayam a la Ayah Daniel siap disantap! ...

I ate the whole junk today, my tummy is upset. My mood swing here and there, I almost forget how to control it. I feel sleepy and a bit dizzy, tired.

Bunda sedih deh, kawan baik bunda di kantor - Tonny udah resign dan kawan baik bunda - Sesi pulang kampung selama 1 bulan ke South Africa. Kalo di kantor bunda cuma bisa ketawa, feel happy kalo ada mereka, trus kalo mereka ga ada gimana donk?? Duh, bunda bakalan bt banget deh 1 bulan ke depan. Sepi..!! Bunda kesel kalo kesepian, kasian kamu deh baby kalo bunda ngerasa kesel terus. Maaf yaa.. Eh, apa kabarnya kamu hari ini? Bunda and Ayah libur loh. Bunda ngerasa fit , cuma sekarang kaki bunda jadi sering bengkak niy, jalan sedikit aja langsung mekar kaki bunda. Bunda masih minum Folic Acid . Cuma bunda ga minum susu, apakah susu bisa ngebuat badan bunda tambah gemuk? kalo iya, hmm... sepertinya bunda ga mau minum susu dulu deh sampe trimester ke dua. Akhir-akhir ini walaupun di kantor, kerjaan bunda cuma buka-buka website tentang kehamilan, nama-nama bayi, dan forum diskusi ibu-ibu hamil, bunda pingin tau lebih banyak tentang kamu. **My thought is only about you nowadays.

"Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It will trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can't ever shake." --Gabe, Little Manhattan--

You know what, I don't even care anymore about what doctor said about me being 'slightly pregnant', because I do feel that I am, and it is proved by the test I took for 3 times and here, deep inside my heart I feel it even stronger. What matters to me is now how my baby is doing? Is she alright, is she in her best and is she even a she? I am alright today, but I go wee every now and then, as if I have a very small bladder it can not contain even a Milli of my urine, it is ok though so that I have an excuse to do a bit of walking to the ladies as an exercise. I believe she is a good baby (amien), she doesn't make me have a lot of to complaint about as I normally do when I am not even pregnant yet - wish she/he would be just like her/his dad, has that calm, cool, wise way of thinking... I went to the mall and walked like about 2 to 3 hours, I did not feel tired but my feet are as big as balloon. It is not only my tummy, my feet are bloated too, is this normal?? Just ...

Hari ini bunda sehat, ga cape, ga heartburn, ga bloated, today I am completely fine. Sebenarnya masalah bunda cuma seragam yang udah ga muat untuk bunda, hugh..!

Apa artinya berdiri dalam keyakinan tapi terperangkap dalam keraguan. Hidup, sebuah ambigu, selalu itu.

Ok! I think I got enough with all this process! The picture right here is my third one, does it explain something?! Hey... I'm pregnant y'all!!! **the mother-to-be is tired confessing that medical test won't beat the sign from God...

This afternoon I went to see dr. Corazon, I got the same interpretation with what I got in the google, I was right: no baby, embryo or whatsoever found on my ultrasound report. I was hopeless and speechless, where are you baby...?? No matter what they say, I am sure you are somewhere in there, if only they can see. Dr. Corazon is a nice doctor I must say, she didn't lose hope, she asked me to come back in 2 weeks to do blood test, just to check if you are in there and do just fine. I really still curious, then I bought another test pack, I will try that this morning. Baby, I had 2 test packs and both say positives! I don't understand if they said you weren't there. I am sure the third one will say the same thing, I just need to ensure myself that I am right, my feeling is right! Today my breasts are so sore, it gets worsen day by day, and bigger indeed. My tummy is bloated, I feel loads of gas inside. Aside from that, I am fine, have no morning sickness, maybe because...

As much as I am curious with the result, I still haven't visit Dr. Corazon. I am so lazy, and I have no time, I have been busy the whole week, this is when I have time - when I am off duty. I met Nurse Nidalyn the other day, she asked me about the result. She wanted me to see dr. Corazon immediately, because if I am really pregnant, doctor can take care of me and my baby at the soonest, one point she is right - I agree. We were planning to go to see her yesterday, but turned out fail since I prefer to have some chicken wings at Chili's, stupid decision. I crave lots of food lately, something that I couldn't control, I keep on wanting to eat, I am bloody fat already! Well, baby.. Today I am planning to see dr. Corazon, wish me luck.

Whatever in my head to create this uncontrollable mind, please I want it to leave me alone!!

Arrggh.. Bunda baca report hasil USG kemarin, ga nyangka betapa bunda menginginkan kamu ada, sehat di dalam perut bunda, but... to be honest baby, I havent got a clear confirmation from the doctor that you are really exist! Banyak medical terms yang ga bunda ngerti, bunda ga patah semangat, bunda google semua terms yang ga bunda ngerti, tapi baby... pengertian yang bunda dapat adalah: I am not pregnant! Bunda pingin secepatnya ketemu dokter Corazon, minta dia interpret report USG kemarin. Bingung... Sedih... Broken-hearted...

Hugh, Bunda capek banget niy... Bunda dan Ayah bangun pagi-pagi, naik bus jam 9 supaya bisa sampe klinik referensi ibu dokter dengan segera, to be honest , kita ga sabar pingin denger kabar tentang kamu. Banyak hal baru yang bikin bunda cemas - sebenarnya mungkin biasa untuk bunda-bunda lain yang sudah pernah melahirkan. Bunda sampai di klinik sekitar hampir jam 10 pagi, bunda harus nunggu 5 orang pasien yang sudah tiba lebih awal dari bunda, alhasil bunda antri sampai hampir 1 jam. Receptionist yang melayani bunda bertanya "is it your 3monthsth?" , bunda bingung harus jawab apa, toch bunda kan diminta datang USG untuk memastikan keberadaan kamu, hah! she was talking based on my weight , sst... Baby, hari ini berat bunda 80Kg, dengan tekanan darah 130 per 89. I am so sorry baby, I am overweight and having high blood-pressure . Bunda menjawab dengan tenang pertanyaan tante receptionist "I came to check how many month is the age of my pregnancy, I do not know!", ...

Baby... Siang ini Bunda di antar Ayah pergi ke dokter untuk check up kepastian keberadaan kamu. Bunda ga ngerti baby, dokter bilang kalau hasil tes yang bunda jalani tadi adalah: slightly positive ! Bunda ga ngerti maksud ibu dokter, baby... apakah kamu baik-baik saja nak di dalam perut bunda? Ibu dokter menjelaskan lebih lanjut, hormon kehamilan bunda tidak begitu banyak sehingga menyebabkan keraguan di dalam hasil tes. Baby, bunda masih harus menjalani tes USG besok pagi, ibu dokter khawatir bahwa keberadaan kamu tidak begitu kuat, dan ibu dokter ingin lebih yakin bahwa kamu memang tumbuh sehat dan baik-baik saja. Kehadiran kamu sudah bunda rasakan jauh sebelum bunda membeli test-pack itu, baby... kamu hadir di hati bunda sayang... Kamu tenang saja di dalam sana ya, bunda akan jaga kamu... Oh, usia kamu diperkirakan memasuki 4 minggu kata ibu dokter, besok kita check yang sebenarnya, bunda bahagia sayang - ayah juga, kita berdua sayang kamu...

30 June 2008 yeah, it's positive!! 29 June 2008 Another test-pack wont do any harm 28 June 2008 I feel you here baby, I just knew it! 25 June 2008 Need to see a doctor, I assume 20 June 2008 so whats happening then? 15 June 2008 negative, told myself:'told cha' 14 June 2008 No Period, can I get at least a test-pack, I feel different here 07 June 2008 No period? naahh, it always late, no worry 11 May 2008 Honeymoon, **no contraception needed 09 May 2008 Just on time, my period always for only max. 4 days 05 May 2008 I had period, always late to come.

Selamat datang di perut Bunda, Baby... Bunda tau kamu ada di dalam sana, yang kamu ketuk sebelum masuk adalah hati bunda. Baby ga perlu khawatir bunda tau kamu datang, bunda sudah menanti kamu jauh-jauh hari. Maafin bunda ya, kedatangan kamu bunda sambut dengan flu bertubi-tubi, oh ini karena bunda ketularan ayah yang kena flu sebelum bunda. Maafin ayah and bunda ya, kita berdua menyambut kamu dengan flu, ugh sebel! Baby, semoga kamu betah di dalam perut bunda, bunda janji akan buat kamu senyaman mungkin. Bunda akan banyak makan buah and sayuran, bunda akan lebih sering makan ikan daripada beef, or mungkin bunda akan stop makan beef sama sekali, bunda akan lebih sering olah raga, bunda akan kontrol emosi supaya ga sering ngambek ke ayah lagi, dan yang paling penting bunda harus shalat - bunda syukuri anugrah-NYA, yaitu kamu Baby... **when the test-pack result showing the amazing sign 'Positive'