Forgetting The Infidelity
I don't know how those people who suffered from infidelity gain their trust back for their spouses. Did it ever go away? I mean the pain and the distrust?
I can't imagine how hurt it may feel when we know someone who loves us so dearly turned out to be someone who hurts us the most, and sometimes they don't even know what they are doing and they feel that they still love us same way before. I am talking about infidelity, yes: betrayal. When our spouse loves someone else.
This thing really does happen, and there is no guarantee after long marriages our relationship will remain the same. There is always obstacles, the love is put to the test in time like this. When finally the affair is over, the lover is gone and our spouse have chosen us over the lover, there is an important question: Could you take him/her back?
Yes, you might be able to take your cheating spouse back, but then what? Will you be able to love him/her the same way you did before the affair? Will you be able to trust him/her after he/she lied to you so many times before? Will you be able to forget the pain you feel inside you?
When the infidelity happens and we are the victim, we feel that our soul broken into two, one piece chooses to stay because of the remaining love still there and the other piece is simply hatred and anger. You can't make them join forces, they always fighting to each other, they make you confuse and sad, they say good things and bad things about your spouse at the same time and your head fulls of their voices, you are so desperate because no matter how hard you try you always failed to make them shut their mouth. They are killing you.
I must say, you have lost control over them and you blame your cheating spouse with all your guts for what's happening in your marriage. I say, we have to stop doing that. Try to find at least one strength that can make you strong to deal with this, maybe your children, your career, or even you friends. It can't beat you, you are just to valuable to be broken. You may suffer for a while, but whatever decision you make you have to deal with it and be strong once again. Especially when he/she have chosen you, it is hard to deal but who cares! You have nothing to lose this time, since you hove lost so much already. You may not love him/her anymore, but you cant hate him/her forever. It is hard to forget but at least you forgive him/her and give the marriage a second chance.
The most important thing, you have to be happy, we have to be happy, and I am sure that we will eventually.
I can't imagine how hurt it may feel when we know someone who loves us so dearly turned out to be someone who hurts us the most, and sometimes they don't even know what they are doing and they feel that they still love us same way before. I am talking about infidelity, yes: betrayal. When our spouse loves someone else.
This thing really does happen, and there is no guarantee after long marriages our relationship will remain the same. There is always obstacles, the love is put to the test in time like this. When finally the affair is over, the lover is gone and our spouse have chosen us over the lover, there is an important question: Could you take him/her back?
Yes, you might be able to take your cheating spouse back, but then what? Will you be able to love him/her the same way you did before the affair? Will you be able to trust him/her after he/she lied to you so many times before? Will you be able to forget the pain you feel inside you?
When the infidelity happens and we are the victim, we feel that our soul broken into two, one piece chooses to stay because of the remaining love still there and the other piece is simply hatred and anger. You can't make them join forces, they always fighting to each other, they make you confuse and sad, they say good things and bad things about your spouse at the same time and your head fulls of their voices, you are so desperate because no matter how hard you try you always failed to make them shut their mouth. They are killing you.
I must say, you have lost control over them and you blame your cheating spouse with all your guts for what's happening in your marriage. I say, we have to stop doing that. Try to find at least one strength that can make you strong to deal with this, maybe your children, your career, or even you friends. It can't beat you, you are just to valuable to be broken. You may suffer for a while, but whatever decision you make you have to deal with it and be strong once again. Especially when he/she have chosen you, it is hard to deal but who cares! You have nothing to lose this time, since you hove lost so much already. You may not love him/her anymore, but you cant hate him/her forever. It is hard to forget but at least you forgive him/her and give the marriage a second chance.
The most important thing, you have to be happy, we have to be happy, and I am sure that we will eventually.
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